Film Review by Emma Champion: The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009) – starring Robert Pattinson

Robert Pattinson probably doesn’t know what’s hit him.  One minute you’re Frederick Diggory in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005) – some expendable plot device in another boy’s story.  The next, you’re the star of one of the biggest teen movie franchises to ever emerge, you’re mobbed in the streets, and your face is plastered on the wall of every girl and sexually-confused boy in the world.  What gives?

When it was announced that Stephenie Meyer’s series of vampire novels were to be turned into a series of films, immediate comparisons were made to the Potter franchise.  A series of books, immensely popular with teens, links to the occult, etc.  Robert Pattinson had been but a bit-player in the Potter saga.  What gives is that Pattinson has achieved the ultimate in actor’s revenge, and come back as the protagonist of an even bigger beast than JK Rowling’s tame boy-wizard could ever command.

New Moon (2009) is the second story in the on-going Twilight Saga, continuing the story of star-crossed lovers Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) and Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart), and their determination to be together in spite of their differences – namely that he drinks blood, and she doesn’t, but she has blood, and he has to resist…blah, blah, blah.  Enough about that – lets talk abs.

Bit-part Jacob (Taylor Lautner) returns for more following the highly successful original film, Twilight (2008), but this time, he plays a more significant role – not just in Bella’s life but visually also.  Lautner provides a fine alternative to all the Pattinson hype – he is muscular, toned, tanned, and feisty, as apposed to lanky, pasty, morose and melancholy.  A colourful antidote to all the doom and gloom, Lautner’s Jacob lights up the piece – the much needed Rocker to Edward Cullan’s Emo.

It’s every bit as angst-ridden as one might have expected – following an incident at the Cullen residence in which Bella nearly dies, Edward makes the decision to up and leave, telling the poor smitten girl that he no longer wants her and that she’ll never see him again.  Consumed with grief, Bella quickly figures out that Edward appears before her every time she puts herself in danger, and so, she becomes something of a Kamikaze – crashing motorbikes and jumping off cliffs (I’m not even exaggerating).  Somewhere in all her turbulence she begins to lean on her good friend Jacob for support, and he’s not likely to protest given that he’s blatantly in love with her.  No sooner are the audience chanting “someone’s gonna get hurt…” that Jacob’s behaviour begins to change – he displays aggression, anger – and he does all of this without his shirt on.  However, turns out, (spoiler alert) he’s a ware-wolf!  Is Bella incapable of attracting a nice, normal, HUMAN fella?!

When Edward learns the false truth that Bella is dead, he decides to anger the Volturi – a high-council of Vampires who, evidently, kill other Vampires when they show themselves to humans.  Bella tells Wolf-Boy where to go, and it’s off to Italy to save the love of her life…before it’s too late.  Will she make it?

It’s as hammy as they come.  It’s ridiculous in places – why does Bella never question the fact that Jacob is always half-naked?! – and Pattinson, the franchise’s meal ticket, just barely features at all.  Look for the scene which features a stand-off between Jacob and Edward’s “sister” Alice in Bella’s kitchen – it oozes school-play-cringe-worthiness.  Thank God for the franchise’s unsung supporting cast, who provide much-needed comic relief throughout.

All that happens when you take life too seriously is you make yourself miserable.  So, my advice is this:  let yourself be swept away in the overly-intense romance of it all.  This is every woman’s fantasy of how much a man should care about the woman in his life.  No man could ever live up to it, so enjoy it for what it is – a rare glimpse of what true, all-consuming passion is supposed to look like.  Edward Cullan is, after all, a man written by a woman.  Take notes, Boys.  The pressure’s really on now.

If you loved the first movie, and the facts and figures suggest that plenty of you did, then this is more of the same and you’ll go crazy for it.  If you weren’t bothered before, this won’t change anything.  Simple as that.

Recommended to true Twi-Hards only.

Emma Champion

Image sourced at:

http://images.starpulse.com/Photos/Previews/Twilight-New-Moon-movie-08.jpg